I think one of the main stigmas around feminism comes from the "traditional" feminist angle that, in order to be a feminist, women shouldn't shave, wear makeup, dress "provocatively", be housewives etc. I definitely believe that women don't dress for men (most of the time anyway) and therefore shaving and wearing makeup and stuff doesn't mean you are adhering to society's ideas of a "perfect woman", but that you are doing what the hell you like because it makes you feel good. This has been named the feminist paradox.
It's unfortunate that over many years it's become so normal for a woman to want to look "flawless" with makeup even though nobody has ever looked like that. I know that rouged cheeks and lips were fashionable because they made you look healthy but who decided to start glueing hairs onto their eyelids and cover their skin in beige goo? Very odd. But, now makeup is so advanced, it's become more of an art. No, not an art of "deception" as some people call it, come on, we're not "lying" to you just because we have darker eyelashes than usual. There are countless blogs and Youtube channels and budding businesses dedicated to the art of makeup, and I find putting makeup on enjoyable.
With shaving, it's completely down to personal preference. I shave because it makes me feel cleaner, like having freshly moisturised skin, but I would never stand for someone telling me that I had to shave, or a partner insisting I shaved before touching me. I think boy's leg hair is way more gross than a girls', and don't get me started on their chest hair! But that's just me, and just like I wouldn't force them to remove it, I wouldn't tolerate being forced to remove mine. A lot of women don't see a problem with body hair and that's completely fine too! Women bearing hairy underarms and legs is so refreshing and the hate they get for it, online especially, is disgusting.
The singer Lily Allen's comeback song "Hard out here" is a lash out at the misogyny in showbiz and it's got a great message except it slams some things that I don't like. Like the line "you'll find me in the studio and not in the kitchen" somehow comes across negative to housewives and stay at home mums, especially when in context of the music video. Being a stay at home mum is one of the most difficult professions out there and is grossly underestimated.
All in all, I think any woman can and should be a feminist even if you love having sex, like dressing in "revealing" clothes or wearing makeup or any of these things. Do what makes you happy.
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